Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The Secret Life of Mild-mannered Lazarus Boopsie
My mom has been complaining because Hobbes and Potto have been gaining fame and fortune from my blog, while Lazarus Boopsie has been less prominently featured. Her creative input went something along these lines...
"You'd better do a blog on Lazarus since you did one on those other two."
Stage mothers! You notice she isn't demanding equal billing for Jean Lafitte!
No need for alarm, ma'am. Look up in the sky! It's a bird. It's a plane. No, it's the adventures of Super Boop to the rescue!
One dark night not many years ago, an innocent little kitten was walking the sinister streets of Gotham Westby. Hungry, alone, and nearly dead, he collapsed in a heap on the doorstep of a kind stranger. The kind stranger took him in and gave him to another kind stranger who took him in and gave him to another kind stranger who took him in and revived him. Perhaps due to the delay in the kind stranger relay, Lazarus Boopsie suffered permanent....shall we say....changes.
Mild-mannered Lazarus Boopsie lives a life of pastoral peace. No one suspects that when danger threatens, he is able to transform in an instant into his alter-ego, Super Boop. The evil of Gotham Westby quakes when confronted with Super Boop's amazing powers.
The nefarious Bottle dares not cross Super Boop's path. If one should be so foolish, it is easily vanquished with the Super Sonic Slurp.
No stranger to danger, Super Boop bites the Hand-That-Feeds-Him.
Perhaps because of his near-death experience, Super Boop is able to confuse his enemies by appearing lifeless at a moment's notice.
We don't talk about Super Boop's other super-power much, especially around Super Boop's future father....the ability to leave toxic puddles in dark corners.
But even Super Boop knows the truth of the old super-hero saying,
"Some days you get the evil....
Some days the evil gets you."