Monday, March 26, 2012

Good Touch/Bad Touch

My name is Mr. Finley, and I will be your guest blogger for the evening. I want to deal with a topic that is near and dear to the heart of every civic-minded pooch.

Good Touch/Bad Touch.

It hardly seems possible in this enlightened age, but there are still humans out there that don't understand how to tell the difference between good touches and bad touches. It is important to educate those who are ignorant and it is with this goal in mind that I approach the topic tonight.

Hands scratching my belly: Good Touch

Hands holding me back from tearing that pesky neighbor dog to pieces: Bad Touch

Hands petting my head: Good Touch

Hands holding Q-tips and cleaning my ears. Very Bad Touch

Hands getting out treats and feeding them to me: Good Touch

Hands turning on the faucet to give me a bath: Bad Touch

Hands holding my tug-of-war rope: Good Touch

Vets' hands: Bad Touch. Period.

Hands making Jackie stay home while I get to go for a ride: Good Touch

Hands pulling ticks out of me: Bad Touch

Hands patting the bed in invitation: Good Touch

These are just a few examples, but I trust they will be sufficient to illustrate the important differences between Good Touch and Bad Touch. In fact, it is so plain I don't see how any human could possibly be confused on the matter. Let us have no more of this uncivilized behav........What is that?

Why do you have the comb and scissors?

Leave my ears alone! I like my burrs. I've been collecting them for weeks! Weeks, do you hear me! Whatever happened to "No one has the right to touch you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable?" Does having your hair pulled out by the roots look comfortable to YOU!?


My mom is a hypocrite.

1 comment:

  1. Finley, you could have some interesting conversations with Oscar and Figaro. That is, if you didn't live two states away.